Ramadan Day 21

Typing out 21 just now was really weird to do. Glad I had a reasonably easy fast today with a friend to pass the time. Weirdly, when I was at her house I felt very tempted and stressed when she ate food. But when she ate snacks in my house, I didn't feel much of anything. I think it is in part about having more control over my environment. I could anticipate that a snack would happen and was the one to offer it, so my mind could almost brace itself against what was coming. I don't have that control when someone is in their own space and eating without announcement. It was interesting to notice how that sit differently in my mind than it did the last time we hung out in person.

As a minor update, my procrastination is in fact kicking me a little bit because I am learning there are forms I have to fill out that require someone else's signature, so I will be later than I want to be with my deadline. It is a technically flexible deadline, but the sooner you submit documents, the more likely you are to secure an acceptance. Tbd what the ultimate outcome is, I won't really know just how much this will hurt or not hurt me until about July-August.

Also, my friend took a headshot of me for this application and because I was wearing a teal jacket, the fit reminded me of the onceler (the tumblr elders know) and we briefly recreated this photo, so enjoy imagining that laughing fit in my kitchen: