Ramadan Day 17 and 18

In my tiredness I totally forgot to post yesterday even though I had the tabs open and the picture ready to share. Yesterday was a bit of a flop, I managed to sleep through my alarms (which happens at least one weekday every 4-6 weeks for me) and was late for suhoor so I ate before sunrise instead of dawn. Crushed it today though, got up, ate, stayed up. Proud of myself for not going back to bed and just trucking along, it's better for my sleep cycle. Also had a really good chat in therapy today about how I show up in my relationships and my therapist pointed out that in the process of witnessing this genocide, I have (rightfully) gone back to some self-protective interpersonal tactics. I am struggling more with what I share with folks because of recent relationship losses (a few months in some already-failing friendships that I thought might have had some potential on a less-close scale crumbled quickly after I wasn't checked in with a single time, despite being very vocal about my heritage). Today I guess I began to process that the difficulty in closing that distance in much stronger friendships is at least in part rooted in that deep seated fear of loss and ongoing, intermingled grief. Being human is a funny, complicated thing.

On my walk 2 days ago, I saw some plants outside my apartment complex, but I couldn't tell if they were there because people were moving in/out and put them down, or if they were up for grabs. But yesterday, 2 of the 3 were gone, so I claimed this remaining little snake plant. Technically doesn't count as a new plant if my old snake plant decided to root rot and this one is sitting in the same spot, right?